Losing the Fight
by criminally-intent-marysue
Summary: He hadn't loved her, in the past tense, he still loved her. Really quick old story I found today. Goren/Eames themes. Spoilers sort of for 'Untethered'


Just a quick story I found that I wrote right after I first saw 'Untethered' so there are sort of spoilers for that. And seriously, when mean quick, I mean it. Like maybe 20 minutes then I promptly forgot about until now.

And the usual **DISCLAIMER**: I don't own the characters or anything pertaining to Law and Order Criminal Intent, that all is Dick Wolfs brain child, and the NBC  
and USA networks. I'm just using them for my own enjoyment, please don't sue.

Also again, this is unBeta'd so all mistakes are my own.

Enjoy.

* * *

"I loved you, you know." He'd said it in a whisper and she was ready to respond, but he continued not letting her. "I didn't want to and I shouldn't have. I knew you could never love me back. But I did love you"

"I know Bobby."

It was always 'Bobby' and 'Alex' outside the squad now.

He wouldn't look at her, sitting on the couch as he was he looked vulnerable. Like a child that had never known love. And she knew in a way it was true of the man in front of her. Sure over the years he'd talked of girlfriends, and chasing co-eds, reading the Koran to impress some girl during his army years, but it was always in sadness and a distant fondness.

Alex knew the past few years had been trying, finally knowing love but not in the way he wanted or needed, but she had done what she could. A quick hug here and there, a quiet evening curled up on a couch watching a movie together. It was hard for him, but it was all unspoken between them until now. But he'd always known she gave what she could of herself.

It suddenly dawned on her that he had said 'loved' as in the past tense. Maybe things were looking up.

"Have you found someone Bobby?"

It took him a long while to answer, but when he did it was again in a, again, barely audible voice.

"No."

"Why then? Why now?"

"Because it is over." Bobby had been on suspension for what felt like forever that it took her a moment to figure out what he was talking about.

"What do you mean?"

"Ross called today 'inconclusive psychological profile' he said. He even told me he fought for me, but to the Chief of D's it means insane; too dangerous to be on the streets."

"They can't do that!" There was a silent 'It'll kill you' at the end of her outburst, but both partners knew it was there.

"Ross managed to get me my full pension."

Alex didn't know what to say. It sounded like Bobby had already given up on ever having his job back. She was suddenly scared that he called her here to say 'goodbye' not just a friendly chat.

"Bobby, what ever you're thinking, don't you even try."

He let out a laugh at her seriousness. It sounded deranged even to him; the shiver that went through her was easy to see.

"I won't kill myself Alex. Don't worry. I couldn't."

Couldn't did not mean not thinking about it. And no matter what he told her, it worried her.

"Then what Bobby? What are you going to do? I remember you say that keeping a man from doing what he did best, what he loved, is what drives them insane. And if you aren't now, and we both know you aren't, you will be. You belong in that interrogation room."

Bobby gave her a noncommittal nod, and turned his head to look out the window.

They stayed silent like that for a long while before Alex's cell rang; another case and another perp.

"You aren't going anywhere." It wasn't a question, and he gave her his promise that he wouldn't.

Then she was gone, and he closed the door before turning and looking around his silent apartment.

She was right; he belonged in that room, inside the minds of criminals, not in this darkened silence. He had lied to her today, he hadn't loved her, past tense, he still loved her and he sure as hell wasn't going to let her watch him slip into that darkness that would be so easy.

In a second Bobby was out of the door and running out to the street catching her before she'd left and he slipped into the passenger seat.

"I'm going to have to break that promise."

She looked at him a bit ruffled and confused.

"Well, I have to leave my apartment to get my job back."

* * *

Thanks for Reading.


End file.
